WOW - 6 Secrets To Staying Married Forever

WOW - 6 Secrets To Staying Married Forever:
Posted By Palco MP3

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey

It's tough to listen to your elders when you are young and in love, or in lust, and about to be married. But the collective wisdom from the 200 long-married women I interviewed for my new book The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes To Stay Married can help you navigate the toughest journey of all: living with one partner, under one roof, until death do you part.

While all have been married from 15 to 70 years, their voices come from diverse backgrounds and experiences -- they are rich and poor, and originate from many cultures and religions. Yet their shared ability to build enduring marriages boils down to some common and unifying traits. Here is the distillation of their secrets and strategies, including mine from 23 years as a wife, on what it really takes to make a marriage last.

1. Know That Happily-Ever-After Is A Myth:
Lower your expectations; it's dangerous fantasy to think marriage really means you get to be happy forever. Expecting perfection in a marriage or a mate is a fast ticket to divorce. Listen to the longtime wives on this point: The happiest women have a clear sense of purpose and passion outside of their relationships. We realize that a marriage that runs on multiple tracks makes for a more satisfied spouse who gets to have it both ways -- a committed marriage and personal adventures in uncharted territory. Marital bliss is possible if each partner is blissful without the other.

2. Don't compare your marriage to anyone else's:
It's your relationship, not your sister's, not your mother's, and there is no gold standard marriage. Everyone has issues, problems, and most importantly, their own secrets. Your girlfriend who is always calling her husband "sweetie" and sits with her legs twined with his may be flinging dishes at him when no one is around. So don't worry that your marriage isn't measuring up. Because no one knows what's really going on in a marriage except the two people in it. That gives each of us the freedom to write our own rules. One wife of 20 years I spoke to who is married to a devastatingly handsome man turned out to only be having sex once every six months. Her survival secret is the lipstick-sized vibrator she keeps stashed in her purse. Another wife of 37 years exchanges periodic stolen kisses with her college boyfriend that she claims "can go a long way to sustain a long marriage." This isn't a marriage that you or I may want, but, hey, it's her secret, not ours. Who are we to judge?

3. Hang out with outrageous girlfriends and boyfriends -- with boundaries:
The wives with the highest marital satisfaction have a tight circle of wild women friends with whom to drink, travel and vent. Close friendships provide the escape hatch from the inevitable storms that come with living with somebody year-to-year in the grind of ordinary life. Aside from a warm girl circle, platonic friendships are a sexy pick-me-up without the complications of adultery. Women who love the company of men shouldn't have to eliminate men friends from their lives. These extra-marital males who always think we're beautiful and smart (because they don't live with us) definitely make for a perkier wife. So marry someone who is confident and flexible, a man who knows that the more people, male and female, who bolster your self-esteem means there's less work for him!

4. Take Separate Vacations: You like to camp and your husband likes to golf? Spend a month of the summer in the Adirondacks while he goes with his buddies to Scottsdale or better yet, Scotland. Obviously this works better once empty nest hits. After some weeks apart from each other, removed from clashing over bills and in-laws, marriage seems way hotter than the tepid state in which you left each other. Make sure you have the fundamental quality of trust going into a marriage. Trust allows couples to liberate each other to explore their own passions independently. And partners who keep growing as individuals during each phase of a marriage are the ones with the best chance of growing together and staying together.

5. Remember to talk to each other, and to have sex:
In between wifely gallivants and self-exploration, remember to love the guy you're with -- kiss him hello and goodbye, and make time for conversation, no matter how crammed your two-career schedules are. Don't forget to have sex -- sex is really relaxing and fun and can make all your woes go away, at least for eleven minutes or so! Express gratitude to this guy who is giving you something huge: This is the person who can help you build a safe harbor in a world of chaos and uncertainly. He can give you children. After years of having to Spanx every body part in order to impress your dates, your husband is the prince who gave you the freedom to soften at the belly, and to finally relax. The biggest surprise secret I found is how many wives are still enjoying sex after 75 with their mates of 50-plus years!

6. Don't try to win every fight:
Surrender once in a while instead of always having to be right. Couples who stomp off with unresolved conflicts end up holding onto vintage rage, and antique blame that forms toxic wedges over time. Even if you can't forgive and forget, at least let go and move on when snarly brawls and/or plate-throwing erupts behind your own closed doors. Say "I'm sorry", even if you're not sorry one bit. Showing compassion definitely makes spouses behave better. And the ability to bounce back from strife is the real secret that makes marriages last forever.

• FASHION WEEK - USA Fashion and Music News
• WORDPRESS - Music Video Photo Fashion Blog
• PALCO MP3 - Download Music Legally Direct From Artist
• LAST FM - Download Music Legally Direct From Artist
• PICASA WEB - USA Fashion Music News Photo Gallery
• DISNEY CHANNEL - Music News
• BABY JUSTIN BIEBER - Google Images Google News
• LADY GAGA - Google Images Google News
• THE UNIVERSE PICTURES - Google Images Nature Picrtures
• CELEBRITY NEWS - Celebrity Gossip and Music News

What You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

What You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman:


Posted by Palco MP3

Pregnant Woman

I'm 38 weeks pregnant. Two more to go. Looking back at my pregnancy, I really can't complain... that much. My morning sickness wasn't bad. But, my OB/GYN thinks I've gained way too much weight. And, my husband thinks an alien has taken over my body since I seem to snap at every little thing he does. (Really though, excuse me, when your pregnant wife calls you, you ANSWER.)

So other than that, it's been great! However, I have to take issue with the inappropriate comments complete strangers, friends, even family members feel they need to make to an already vulnerable -- and very emotional -- pregnant woman. Luckily, I haven't been alone in this journey. My sister, who was just recently pregnant, has experienced the same reactions from people. At first, I would brush the remarks off like lint, but then they just kept piling on. So I have to share. I'm really hoping that you, former and current pregnant women out there, have experienced something similar -- please let us know in the comments and make me feel better.

Below are the top ten comments, in no particular order, my sister and I have received, the ones that were just too unbelievable to keep to ourselves.

1. Male stranger: "How many more months do you have left? One or two?"

Me: "I actually have five more months left."

Male stranger: "Oh, are you having twins?"

Me: "Nope, just one."


2. Male work colleague: "Whoa, what are you having... quadruplets?

My Sister: No, just having one."


3. Female friend... Now distant female friend: "I didn't think you were going to be big, but you really are!"

Me: "..."


4. Female stranger: "Are you having one or two because your stomach is really big?"

Me: "Just one."

Female stranger trying to redeem herself: "You have a perfect belly, you really do."


5. Female family friend: "Let me see who's bigger, you or my daughter." (Daughter and I are only days apart in our pregnancy).

Female family friend: "Oh no, you're much bigger."

6. Male stranger: "Now that's a pregnant woman right there! How far along are you?

Me: "I'm eight and a half months." (I lied; I was only seven and a half months. I was having a bloated day.)

Male stranger: "I was going to say, you look like you're about to explode!"

7. Female cousin on Skype: "Let me see your belly!"

Me: "Okay, here it is!"

Female cousin: "Oh, you don't look that pregnant!"

Me: "Oh my God, thank you! You just made my day."

Female cousin: "Now let me see your sister!" (Sister walks over to computer and shows belly).

Female cousin: "Wow, now you look pregnant!"

8. Female friend: "I didn't even recognize you!"

Me: "Really?!"

Female friend: "I knew your sister was going to be big but I didn't think you were. But you are."

9. Male distant relative: "How are you doing? Or I should probably start saying how are you two doing?"

Me: "We are good."

Male distant relative: "Are you having twins?"

Me: "No."

Male distant relative: "Are you sure?"

10. Male acquaintance: "Are you pregnant?"

Me: "Yes, how did you know?"

Male acquaintance: "Your face!"

Me: "Oooh."

Male acquaintance:"Is it a boy?"

Me: "Yes! Again, how did you know?"

Male acquaintance: "Again, your face! See when women are pregnant with boys, they tend to lose the femininity in their face."

Me: "Oooh."

I just want to know what happened to a simple "Congratulations!" Or how about nothing at all? Really, if you see a pregnant woman, do not feel obliged to say anything. We know we're pregnant, unless you're talking to one of those women from the show I Didn't Know I was Pregnant -- don't even get me started on that. But if you do see a pregnant woman and feel the need to say something, a "congratulations" is more than enough. There is no need to make any sort of comment about how big we are, or a prediction of how far along we are, or how many babies you think there are. At first I thought only men made these comments, but looking back, most of them were from women. Ladies, we're supposed to be on each other's side. The moral of this post is either say something nice or say nothing at all, especially to a hormonal pregnant woman. Now I have to go eat a donut.

USA FASHION & MUSIC