Gee - Why Doesn't Anyone Date Anymore?

Gee -Why Doesn't Anyone Date Anymore?:

Posted by Palco MP3

Fifty years ago parents wrung their hands wondering what to do with their daughter who was 'going steady' with her high school sweetheart. Back then, parents encouraged their daughters to see many boys, correctly believing that this would provide experience with a wide array of relationship styles, promoting better choices of a life mate. Behind that rationale, however, lurked a hopeful belief that seeing many casual suitors would keep their daughters chaste. The practical goal of society's dating strategy was to get Susie to the altar, if not as a virgin then at least not as a mother-to-be.
The '60s sexual revolution, and the widespread availability of the birth control pill, changed all that. Now that girls could say 'yes' as well as 'no' to sex without the threat of unintended and often unwanted pregnancies, parents squirmed realizing their little princesses could be experimenting sexually with several boyfriends, none of whom she may marry. The face of dating changed.
Today, parents are relieved if their daughters hook up with only one partner. In the effort to keep our girls safe, we settle for fidelity if not virginity. Sadly, the double standard still informs our decisions about sex and dating -- boys get a free pass (if not a wink and a nudge) about early sexual activity while girls juggle labels of 'slut' (those who put out) and 'bitch' (those who do not). Saddest perhaps is the trend for very young girls to provide sexual favours (usually oral sex) for multiple boys while receiving little or no sexual pleasure themselves.
Dating seems to have disappeared from our cultural landscape. People now define as single or partnered/married. Rarely do we hear that someone is playing the field or dating several people. The sex-negative message from half a century ago trumpets a different answer to the question of mate acquisition, but it is no less damaging. We hear routinely of new couples assuming sexual exclusivity after they have had sex but before they know much else about each other -- an 'all your eggs in one basket' approach. Not surprisingly, most of those couples emerge some months later disillusioned and believing they will find true love in another lover, not in another system.
The opposite of single is married, not dating. Dating and marriage should feel different from each other. Why are we so quick to abandon the freedom of choice dating offers, replacing it instead with lightning-quick courtships and instant sexual exclusivity? Do we still believe that sex is so potent, so dangerous, that we dare not play with it? Haven't we grown beyond the 'kisses are contracts' stage? Have we been so silenced about negotiation and communication that we settle for any relationship that affords us sexual gratification? Moreover, if that is true, how much talking could be going on within that relationship regarding how sex can best be expressed and enjoyed?
Surely we can do better if we define dating as an enjoyable process in which we learn about potential partners by trying them on for a good fit. We need not limit ourselves to exclusivity with each one to whom we are sexually attracted. We are willing to shop endlessly for a new car or home, yet couple far too quickly once we establish a sexual liaison. Responsible, compassionate sex should be an adjunct to the process of coupling, not the prime reason for doing so.
There is an old saying: "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet the handsome prince (or princess)." How much happier we would be if we used sex as but one of the many criteria upon which we base our coupling decisions.

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Love me do: Yoko Ono reveals it was Paul McCartney who saved her marriage to John

Love me do: Yoko reveals it was Paul who saved her marriage to John

Last updated at 5:45 PM on 10th October 2010
It became a legendary event in John Lennon's increasingly eccentric life - famously known as 'the lost weekend'.
And now, on the day John Lennon fans around the world are celebrating what would have been his 70th birthday, his widow, Yoko Ono, has revealed what happened during those days when John disappeared with their pretty personal assistant.
And despite a well known war of words with Beatle Paul McCartney, Yoko credits Macca with actually saving their marriage.
John and Yoko had separated in the summer of 1973 after a period of marital strife, and subsequently Lennon began a relationship with his personal assistant May Pang - a collusion Pang says was entirely orchestrated by Yoko.
Yoko continued to stay in touch with her errant husband but it was not until they met backstage at an Elton John concert in November1974 that they became reconciled.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono at their home at Tittenhurst Park

Genuinely worried: Paul McCartney, pictured earlier this month, wanted to help John sort out his marriage, Yoko said in an interview today

But the surprise element of the story is that Yoko reveals Paul McCartney stepped in and brought the couple back together.
That the two were not on good terms and a feud developed after Lennon left the Beatles is well known.
Yoko tells The Times: 'I want the world to know that it was a very touching thing that he did for John.

'He was genuinely concerned about his old partner. Even though John was not even asking for help - John, Paul, all of them were too proud to ask anything - he helped. John often said he didn't understand why Paul did this for us, but he did.'
As Yoko recounts, Paul and Linda McCartney visited her in New York early in 1974, and they talked long into the night.
Paul asked Yoko what would make her take John back and she told him that if John courted her she would perhaps consider it.
Paul then visited John in Los Angeles where he was living with May Pang, and according to Yoko advised him on how to get Yoko back.
The fact that John immediately tried to court Yoko, and came back to New York, was hugely important she says.

He made several attempts to woo her, including taking her to a Man Ray exhibition and to see a film, after she watched him perform at the Elton John concert and realised it could all begin again.

John Lennon and May Pang (left) at the Beacon Theatre in New York, shortly before he became reconciled with Yoko Ono after Elton John's concert (right) at Madison Square Garden, New York in November 1974

Less than a year after they were reunited their son Sean was born, on John’s birthday.
To mark what would have been John's 70th birthday Yoko is in Iceland today to light the Imagine Peace Tower in Reykjavik bay’s Videy Island.
She lights the Tower every year on the same day, sending a vast beam of light shooting upwards into space, and it remains lit until December 8, the day he was murdered by Mark Chapman outside the Dakota building in New York where they lived.

Yoko also reveals that John preferred to celebrate her and their son’s birthdays rather than his own, explaining that they would usually have a quiet, private party.

He was not happy about reaching 40, she added, but believed had he reached 70 he would have been ‘energetic and very wise and enjoying life’.
There are a number of Lennon anniversary celebrations, notably a massive re-issue of solo Lennon material which Yoko personally remastered.
It is the largest project of its kind since the much-acclaimed reissue of the Fab Four’s catalog in 2009.

Good relationship: Sean Ono Lennon (left), Yoko Ono (middle) and Julian Lennon (right) pictured last month in New York. Yoko insists the brothers received the same amount from John's estate

There will also be a concert in Japan on December 8, the day of his death.
The Dream Power Concert will have Japanese artists singing Lennon songs and all the money will go towards schools in Africa, Asia and South America.
Yoko is at pains to point out that Lennon’s children enjoy a normal relationship as brothers, and her and Sean were photographed recently with Lennon’s first wife, Cynthia and their son Julian at the premiere of Nowhere Boy, the film about John’s early days.
She ends the interview by saying that she feels John is still with her, guiding her and giving her ideas. ‘Yoko in her own words’ will be broadcast on Radio 6 at 8pm tomorrow.
Today, May Pang lives just outside New York City, and has two children.